Today is the first day of school. I'm finally

Today is the first day of school. I'm finally a senior in high school! This year is going to be different than other years. I am finally going to

turning off the power on the hottest day of the year. The prank will be even better since the school has bad ventilation. The school was built in the 60s and they

say it's going to be a heatwave this summer. To get close to the power switch I had to get part time work at the plant. The interview was devastating because they wanted to know

if I knew that 'up' was the 'on' or the 'off' position. They also asked if I knew how many plant workers could screw in a light bulb. They wanted to know if the atom was my friend.

I shook out a Marlboro Red, zippo'd it to life and sneered at them. "Off, 4, and yeah, I know Atom; he's on the up-and-up." They looked at each other, clearly nonplussed. An alarm

went off just before the chemist could yell, "No smoking by the centrifuge!" The sprinkler system released dihydrogen monoxide, which ruined my dry clean-only coat and reacted with

facial tattoo ink. Runners of ink flowed past my eyes making me look like a very sad, gothic clown. I had planned to get the tat's removed, but not like this. The caustic soup

burned and stung while drinking the horrid stuff, still thinking over my tat's. I couldn't even get a job because of them. Now, the inks faded and I look more of a racoon instead

of a neo-Nazi. I gotta say the stripes suit me. I'm actually thinking of living in a dumpster as I'm into cold pizza. Let me tell you about the time I ate out of date cornflakes...