Being dead sucks ass.... I should know. I've

Being dead sucks ass.... I should know. I've been dead for just over an hour, and it feels like bloody eternity already. There's a crow approaching. Shoo! Leave my corpse alone you

dirty black bird. "Your in some position to complain cawed the crow". How strange. In dying I'd gained the ability to commune with birds. "I had the avian flu. Don't touch me".

The crow just caw-cawwed,but I understood that he was laughing at me."Don't you know?" he squawked. "You're one of US now!" I looked down and sure enough, black feathers covered me

limbs. Avast ye varmint had turned me from a Pirate into a crow. I couldn't hold any rum with me wing, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! But, I learned, I could fly.

And fly I did. I landed on the roof of the Palmolive Building. There was an observatory that gave me acrophobia, unless I stayed away from the crowd and followed them downstairs.

When I got downstairs I held back so long that i ended up getting locked inside of the Palmolive Building. It happened so fast & when i realized it had happened I couldn't find any

paper towels to dry off my hands. So it was with moist palms that I opened the men's room door, only to notice that Bubble people had taken over the empty Palmolive Building. Their

society was small yet progressive, and surprisingly sex positive. However, there were no hand dryers here, and the mixture of soap, oil, and body fluids did nothing to help my

itch for a pizza. The mixture of soap, oil and body fluids did however help to smoothen the wheels of my skateboard that I was traveling in. It was then that i realised that the

roads in this post-apocalyptic world were unpaved and no amount of hip ollies or 360 varial kickflips would save it.