I've waited so long, I don't even remember

  • I've waited so long, I don't even remember what it's like to be with you. This is why I'm guilty. I mean, I should remember something so important, right? I remember in one way, bu
  • oying homemade rubber duckies together, but in another way, your overzealous interior decorating. As you knock on my door, the buffalo plaid shag carpeting on the ceiling sheds on
  • -cological poison because it is pure asbestos. The ceiling is pure asbestos and I jam the ceiling with a brooms with my mouth open. If I swallow enough I can walk through fire
  • Then I'll walk through fire and yada, yada, yada. You know the rest. (I get the money, the job, and the girl)
  • Or so I foolishly thought. Yes, my stupid smugness and idiotic pretentiousness did get me far and high in life, but what I didnt account for was that my very self-righteous ego
  • would ultimately land me a very low paying profession in academia. I was surrounded by beard-scratching losers who got their rocks off my messing around with their students. As for
  • my sea shell collection it was gathering dust as I did not have time to create a sea shell wall mural. My low paid academic job was taking up too much time. I longed to visit the
  • beaches of Peru, where the most exotic and oddly colored shells could be found. I didn't have the funds for airfare, so I decided to sell my autographed pair of Chuck Norris' socks
  • to an old lady with a fetish for martial artists' socks. Armed with sufficient cash monies, I boarded a plane to Peru to continue my quest for the legendary shell. When I had arriv
  • ed at the bustling airport, I grabbed hold of my pockets to make sure that my money was safe, and then shook my head at my paranoia. I took a deep breath and headed for the exit.


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