I've waited so long, I don't even remember

I've waited so long, I don't even remember what it's like to be with you. This is why I'm guilty. I mean, I should remember something so important, right? I remember in one way, bu

oying homemade rubber duckies together, but in another way, your overzealous interior decorating. As you knock on my door, the buffalo plaid shag carpeting on the ceiling sheds on

-cological poison because it is pure asbestos. The ceiling is pure asbestos and I jam the ceiling with a brooms with my mouth open. If I swallow enough I can walk through fire

Then I'll walk through fire and yada, yada, yada. You know the rest. (I get the money, the job, and the girl)

Or so I foolishly thought. Yes, my stupid smugness and idiotic pretentiousness did get me far and high in life, but what I didnt account for was that my very self-righteous ego

would ultimately land me a very low paying profession in academia. I was surrounded by beard-scratching losers who got their rocks off my messing around with their students. As for

my sea shell collection it was gathering dust as I did not have time to create a sea shell wall mural. My low paid academic job was taking up too much time. I longed to visit the

beaches of Peru, where the most exotic and oddly colored shells could be found. I didn't have the funds for airfare, so I decided to sell my autographed pair of Chuck Norris' socks

to an old lady with a fetish for martial artists' socks. Armed with sufficient cash monies, I boarded a plane to Peru to continue my quest for the legendary shell. When I had arriv

ed at the bustling airport, I grabbed hold of my pockets to make sure that my money was safe, and then shook my head at my paranoia. I took a deep breath and headed for the exit.