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It was crafted from some ceramic material

  • It was crafted from some ceramic material that was really useful for flying until the pat downs and body scanners. Now he had to kill terrorists with a ball point pen if it came to
  • saving lives. That was the mission, but he just liked to kill people. That's when he started practicing breaking sporks to get a sharp edge, he'd love to slice a terrorists neck
  • clean through. My killing wave had slowed when the TSA took away the knives, but with a few months of research I was able to perfect a substitue. They call me the Sporkinator.
  • Sure, the sporks snap in half more often than not, but if my victims don't die of spork wounds, they die laughing, so one way or another I was back on track, building my reputation
  • As the only known serial killer to utilize Taco Bell cutlery in my murderous spree. This gave me no choice but to
  • switch to McDonalds cutlery which consisted of a spatula. Naturally it was more difficult to kill my victims with this implement, but this just challenged me the more
  • . I flipped my 1st victim over the Bay Bridge with ease. I spread a thin layer of Nutella over my 2nd kill and staked him to a fire ant hill. I gagged #3 with the spatula handle
  • I used to win the south by southwest burger cookoff. Victim #4 was cooked sous-vide, poached in his own rendered fat. I was now looking for a large quantity of liquid nitrogen,
  • which in hindsight was a bad idea, cuz I never found any. I should've spent more time focusing on my burger grilling, fat-poaching, and
  • barrel-rolling. Because really, how is a collection of 1980's Welsh Porno's going to help me reflect oncoming laser fire? It's not.

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