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"If I don't come back, light a candle for

  • "If I don't come back, light a candle for me," I said brusquely. Her eyes glistened and her chin trembled as I tightened my suspenders. This was certainly going to be
  • enlightening, I thought to myself. Never in the history of mankind had a monk travelled to the dark galaxy and beyond in nothing but trousers and suspenders. I closed my eyes and
  • let the cosmos wash over me in cold waves of plasma. Just beyond my reach was Heaven. If I wanted to ascend to that higher level of existence, I'd first have to kill
  • my ego and float free. So I hired a contract killer who specialised in ego assassination and the annihilation of selfhood. She was a small bird in the form of a skylark and hovered
  • near your bedroom window waiting for you to fall asleep. The bird (aka ego assassinator, contract killer) would then fly in through the chimney, and into your room. It deposited
  • half-digested insecurities and failed ambitions from its beak into your open mouth. You woke with a cold sweat and a large feeling of inferiority. I'm a failed superhero, you tell
  • Smitty, your loyal yellow labrador retreiver. He raises his head and cocks it to the left, looking at you with a solemn stare of concern and sympathy. I must redeem my superhero
  • Smitty ran to the fortress of Solitude, and scratched at Krypto's quarters. Krypto, the very confused dog opened the door, and grew even more confused with the Labrodor.
  • Smitty, the Labrador, spoke to Krypto with the ESP that only a gifted canine knows. He had traveled to the fortress of Solitude with one message: "Snausages?"
  • Krypto looked deep into Smitty's soulful brown eyes. Could Smitty be trusted? Sharing Snausages could mean they might both get a new leash on life. He could. They did.

2 Comments

  1. zxvasdf Feb 03 2015 @ 23:54

    PurpleProf, your ending has to be the coolest coming out story!

  2. PurpleProf Feb 04 2015 @ 08:14

    HAHA! I didn't think of it that way, but you are absolutely right.

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