52

"please sir, i do believe you are sitting

  • "please sir, i do believe you are sitting on my hand" "oh sorry old chap i didnt realise you were there, i was too busy...
  • "....NOT! AHAHAHAH! I KNEW THAT I WAS SITTING ON YOUR BLEEDIN' HAND THE WHOLE BLOODY TIME! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! By the by, you got the time? I'm due at a meeting by 4:00."
  • Before he could get a response, he realized that the uncomfortable metal poking the inside of his bum was, in fact, the man's watch. Now neither of them knew what the time was, and
  • this cause such a great panic in both of them. They could be late to the fancy sex party that was planned later for tonight. They had to find out the time now.
  • Luckily a slacker named Vance was with them, he claimed to be a Psychic Clock. They asked him what time it was. Vance took a mongo rip of compressed air and said, "
  • I don't know, I'm not that kind of clock." He exhaled and then went on, " I'm more like a clock for feelings man, you know, like auras and astrology and stuff dude, like, you know
  • . Like chronologically the time is always 'Now' so what's the point of thinking about the future so much?" The way he ticked and talked and toked, I wanted to punch this clock.
  • So I did. But I hastily crouched down when I heard a supersonic BANG and an old man appeared. 'Who punches time in the face?' he asked. Great, so Father Time did exist. I started
  • to haggle with him about my lifespan. Father Time said he could compress all my boring moments when I wasn't thinking anything & give me an extra 7 years. But it was a mistake beca
  • use most of my life had been boring, and I had been bitten by a dog, a rat, and a cat. Ultimately I was just another story in the pages of time, with the boring parts left in.
Started
2011-04-21 17:15:27
Finished
2012-02-11 03:17:53

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    m80 Feb 11 2012 @ 15:13

    I really liked this one. Ticked and "toked" - Chaz you kill me! :-)
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Feb 12 2012 @ 06:10

    Not so many boring parts really. "ticked and talked and toked" is classic.

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