"Listen Frank, I'm gonna let you in on a

"Listen Frank, I'm gonna let you in on a secret. The real reason for our outting... Just over behind that crater is where Sheppard's golf balls oughta be. They're history! And I'm

gonna find the best one, rinse it off, and have my doc insert it in my scrotum." Frank was Lance's last living friend, so he went along with the hunt for Sheppard's golf balls. The

golf balls were hard to find but Frank ended up finding three for Lance. Lance was

my friend, my mentor and also my chiropractor.

Unfortunately, not a graphic designer: I squinted at the print on the business card, typed in size 2 font and filling the entire card. "You have... lots of interests," I said.

Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark. But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Raised lettering, pale nimbus. Impr

ahead of his main suspect at all times. In fact, Detective Manatee got to the scene of the murder 15 minutes before it occurred, long enough for a beer. When Carol entered the bar

she fainted. The sound of her body hitting the floor startled the bartender and he dropped the vintage bottle of merlot he had been pouring, shattering it. The patron said

As she was drowning she felt something being pushed into her face, it was poop.