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Here's the thing, it's not you. It's me.

  • Here's the thing, it's not you. It's me. We both know we've been growing apart for a while now. I think maybe we're just better when we're apart. Oh, the money
  • i owe you? Well so here's the thing...I don't have it now and I doubt I'll ever have it. Shit, the truth is, if I had the money I wouldn't give it to you. I'd spend it on my
  • sex-change procedure. Someday, I swear to god, I am moving to a country with a better health-care system, but for now I will just have to
  • work with what I got. I looked in the mirror: pouting lips, check! Big blues, check! Long slender neck-line, check! The beard-growth was quite discouraging, as was the receding
  • gums in my smile. There were so few teeth that when I grinned I looked like a pitchfork. I pasted my hair down with LA Looks Gel, Extra Hold. I tucked my shirt into my underwear
  • on my head. I wore two left shoes even though I had two right feet. Yet no one takes me seriously. People only listen to Van Heusen models in a sartorialistic state. The King of
  • Meat invented a tree that grows steaks, but every time you pluck one it screams. This King of Meat grew incensed to self-pity, kicking his two left shoes off his two right feet.
  • He knew he'd make millions off his screaming-steak-tree. Unfortunately so did the King of Meat’s two-timing ex-wife, the Duchess of Tofu. That night, she snatched it as revenge for
  • the myriad of wrongs he'd done her. The screaming-steak-tree, slung over the Duchess of Tofu's shoulder, cried out, "Help me, King of Meat, help me!" "By the hairs on my chinny chi
  • n chin, I shall rescue you, Steak Tree!" The King of Meat drew his mighty cleaver &chopped the Duchess of Tofu into tasteless bits of bean curd.Long Live the Kingdom of Carnivores!
Started
2011-12-19 02:10:15
Finished
2014-04-27 12:41:37

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Zetawilk Apr 27 2014 @ 13:12

    I love how it came back around to domestic disputes. Personally, I'd rather have a lobster tree. Just like in the Sims 3.
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie Apr 27 2014 @ 16:42

    Buddyboy's & Green Banana's folds - hahaha!!!
  3. Avatar

    buddyboy4711 Apr 27 2014 @ 16:58

    A Tofu Tree would make my day. Or a Duchess thereof, whichever comes first. *waits*

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