I was eating my pet cat jiminy bob von jiggle

I was eating my pet cat jiminy bob von jiggle mick thurmando arnsldo Lorenzo albert barrack the V junior because of the sudden rise of

gurgles in my stomach. They portended hunger no doubt just like the ache in my muscles portended the laziness that prevented me from going shopping. And so I ate my cat.

Or tried to anyway. What a catastrophic mistake that was, thought the cat. She licked the blood off her paws and lifted her tail high, proud of her flawless execution.

No-one had ever beaten her at Mortal Kombat. No one could. Her prowess as 'Scorpion' was the envy of the neighbourhood cats. But there was that ONE mouse who though he was IT. That

mouse had been training for this battle for 53 minutes and counting. He wore the traditional colors of a rodent warrior, neon green sweatpants and wooden klogs. His name was Murph

Big Jim hissed and spat, unsure how to deal with the charging mouse. Murph seized his chance and swung the stick at the cat's head, clipping his left ear. Big Jim howled in pain.

Triumphantly, Murph the mouse ponced about, using the stick as a cane. Big Jim the cat recovered from the blow to his ear and snuck up on Murph, his pupils dilated with rage. In a

flash, Big Jim the cat leaped toward Murph the mouse. But Murph was ready, cartoon-style, swinging a huge frying pan he had pulled from a tiny pocket. The pan hit Big Jim smack dab

in the whiskers, his face became paella-shaped & Murph flipped him like a flapjack,threw in some diced onions, a dash of Tabasco & a shot of whiskey; Woosh! the Manx became Spirit.