45

. He didn’t want even the small chance

  • . He didn’t want even the small chance that you guys would end up together, so when he was choosing the variables, deciding if he should make the world some apocalypse shit hole, h
  • e wouldn't be the jolly old elf he was today. All that changed in a flash of floodlights. "Come out with your hands up, Santa! We have the house surrounded!" They had caught him!
  • Santa wasn't always a criminal though. Forcing yourself to be jolly 24/7 and eating all those cookies really messed with his glucagon. 'I'm not going down without a fight!' he thou
  • thought, as he reached out a mitted hand to clutch the grenade in his giant sack of goodies. Pulling the pin proved to be a chore with mittens on. He bit down on the ring, pulled
  • hard and chucked it out the open window, and it landed on his boss' truck bed, where it lay for a few seconds. Nothing. That's when he realized he was still holding the grenade, so
  • what else could he do in that split second but allow his life to flash before his eyes...and pray this moment was all just a bad dream. Then...nothing. When he opened his eyes, he
  • was still a priest. A priest who wanted out. Their affair started months ago. Could they maintain this bliss after they were married? Would he be doing the right thing? So many
  • questions. So he called the Pope. "Hi, I'm a Scorpio gay man, been having an affair with a priest, should I wear cerise at our wedding?" Silence. "Purple then?" In a thick Argentin
  • ian accent, the pope sighed, "As a Scorpio, the moon is rising, so I would choose lavender. Is your fiance a Capricorn?" "Why yes!" said the gay man. "Blessings, next question."
  • "I'm a leo!" I said. " I'm a damn leo. Always alone in the heart of the african desert. people look at me scared and think what a wild proud creature...but the thing they don't kno
Started
2013-06-18 16:42:41
Finished
2013-07-20 14:37:11

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    JessicaM Jul 20 2013 @ 14:41

    So Santa is a diabetic criminal who happens to be a gay male priest? It all makes sense!
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie Jul 20 2013 @ 16:07

    ... but the thing they don't know is the Pope's marriage guidance is infallible so they don't need to fuss over star signs. The End

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