This was the moment I had been waiting for.

This was the moment I had been waiting for. I was about to become a celebrity. If I flashed my breasts at the exact point Tom Cruise left his hotel, I would be recognized across

ten miles of barren desert, but apparently he didn't notice. Also, my jacket wouldn't zip back up and my breasts became sunburned. As the sun fell, the coyotes closed in

and bit at his ankles. Once his tendons where through he couldn't walk and before long a pack of jackals was quarreling over his corpse. But they didn't bother me. I was coyote

ugly's star waitress. There wasn't enough meat on my bones to feed a single one of those jackals. The fatties went first, and I saw it as an opportunity to

take the money and run. I leapt over the body of a fallen cowboy and took off for the exit. I was almost there when I was blinded by a flash of light and an explosion.

I could bearly squint pass the purple after-images. A voice boomed, "Who dares questions the great Oz?" I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore. Hiding my ill gotten loot in my basket,

I drew a deep breath. "It is I, L3EtPr0Sn!P3RSk1lLz" "WTF, n00b I kill u lol" was his reply. "I see you are an avid Call of Duty player, O wizard." "I dabble"

was what Nathan Lane said and punctuated it with dirty wink. The Wizard had seen The Birdcage and

was concocting a spell to eradicate and prevent all future DVD sales of said film. It took one pinch of cow spots and two parts meringue in the crystal ball. Other ingredients were