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This was the moment I had been waiting for.

  • This was the moment I had been waiting for. I was about to become a celebrity. If I flashed my breasts at the exact point Tom Cruise left his hotel, I would be recognized across

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  • ten miles of barren desert, but apparently he didn't notice. Also, my jacket wouldn't zip back up and my breasts became sunburned. As the sun fell, the coyotes closed in

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  • and bit at his ankles. Once his tendons where through he couldn't walk and before long a pack of jackals was quarreling over his corpse. But they didn't bother me. I was coyote

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  • ugly's star waitress. There wasn't enough meat on my bones to feed a single one of those jackals. The fatties went first, and I saw it as an opportunity to

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  • take the money and run. I leapt over the body of a fallen cowboy and took off for the exit. I was almost there when I was blinded by a flash of light and an explosion.

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  • I could bearly squint pass the purple after-images. A voice boomed, "Who dares questions the great Oz?" I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore. Hiding my ill gotten loot in my basket,

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  • I drew a deep breath. "It is I, L3EtPr0Sn!P3RSk1lLz" "WTF, n00b I kill u lol" was his reply. "I see you are an avid Call of Duty player, O wizard." "I dabble"

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  • was what Nathan Lane said and punctuated it with dirty wink. The Wizard had seen The Birdcage and

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  • was concocting a spell to eradicate and prevent all future DVD sales of said film. It took one pinch of cow spots and two parts meringue in the crystal ball. Other ingredients were

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  • unnecessary. Lord Voldemort knew this, but Harry didn't so Harry ran around trying to destroy dozens of ingredients in an effort to thwart Voldemort's anti-DVD plans. Harry failed!

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