"Thee-ate-er." That's how Billy Joe Greenbob

"Thee-ate-er." That's how Billy Joe Greenbob said it when I took him to a Broadway show in NYC. Country boy in the big city. I think that's the day I fell in love with him.

Maybe it was his childlike delight as he constantly nudged me, whispering, "them folks is dressed up like cats!" I felt Billy Joe might accept me & come to love me, the way I am,

The only thing Billy Joe loved though was himself. He didn't love me, but I would make him love me. I would start by collecting his

hair and making a statue of him out of mashed taters, I could slowly add his hair to it, make it look real. Yes, Billy Joe would love me then, when I kidnapped him and he saw how

I put my artistic prowess, mashed potatoes, and hair snipping skills to good use. We would have a fancy wedding, a binding prenup, and we would have 5.3 beautiful children. Then wh

-at do you think happened? We wound up having .7 more children than we had planned. Well, that ruined everything. "Take your spud hairdo and hit the road! I want a divorce," I told

my husband de jure. In divorce cases, telling your husband de jure is the same as telling your real husband. I had the all precedents on my side. My real husband interrupted my sex

with my lover du jour and my husband de jure and we all agreed that was appropriate and pretty cool of him. For a moment it seemed a foursome was in the wind, but my real husband

stormed in and demanded a divorce. She and her friends were not reacting to this well. I looked at my husband du jour to deal with my real husband. Meanwhile, my lover du jour and

my real husband's co-ed de jour were getting knowledgeable of each other's anatomy. That was too much to take on top of the divorce talk. I shot them all with my Glock ten & lived.