50

I thought that Japan was attached to China,

  • I thought that Japan was attached to China, that Puerto Rico was a Mexican city and more ignorantly, that Scotland and Ireland were both the same island and didn't speak English.
  • But then I ordered the GeoSafari (*dramatization*)! Now I rattle off world capitals and archipelago latitudes with ease (*results not typical*). For only $49.95 (*plus S&H*), you
  • must hat me because I am a geography nerd but I know where random crap is in the world, SO that make me extra strength and you just regular strength.
  • But no! I am super strength because my extreme historical knowledge means I know all the monarchs of England since 1485. Hat me! Richard III, Henry VII, Henry VIII, Edward VI, Ma
  • Bell IV, Bob VIII, Bon Jovi LXIX, Nippletoes I, Raymond Luxury Yacht (pronounced Throat-warbler Mangrove) IX -- "Wait a second," interjected the headmaster. "Those aren't English
  • cucumbers you have there in your lunchbox, are they? Strictly forbidden!" Clearly, the headmaster was trying to change the subject. He grabbed my cucumbers & I just went ballistic,
  • slinging grapes, at the headmaster who ran away with my cucumbers in his slimy grasp. Fortunately a stray ketchup packet lay waiting on the floor, with a sickening squish the head
  • master lay on the ground. I took my cucumbers from the headmaster's prone form. "That'll teach you to steal students' lunch/beauty products," I said sweetly before crushing his
  • testicles between my thumb & forefinger. I had wanted to do that to the headmaster for a long time & now that I'd recovered the cucumbers & rendered him unconcsious, I felt great!
  • Cucumber like revenge should be served cold with freshly plucked peppermint. The head mistress complimented me for the delicious dish but I wouldn't divulge the secret ingredient.
Started
2012-08-12 19:56:02
Finished
2013-12-29 22:12:53

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie Dec 30 2013 @ 12:44

    I thought 'hat me' was a special new phrase. But now I wonder if MoralEnd meant 'hate me'.

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