"Arrr, me brethren, thank you for this congress.

"Arrr, me brethren, thank you for this congress. The Somalis have slashed our profits, and American drones have made commerce difficult. So could I interest you in some Tupperware

containers, guaranteed to keep your stash from oxidating forever. In fact, I am so convinced of the superior sealing properties of these amazing products, I'll give you a life-long

money back guarantee, (this guarantee does not cover the battery or the hydrogenating pellet replacements). Before I used this product, I just used to throw my feces down the drain

-less chute my mom used for laundry. I figured my "scat" would just get on the clothes that she was washing anyways. I had a swirlphobia that prevented me from using the toilet

fear outweighed my pride. The crux of my corner-crapping & outhouse-omission was I couldn't prove my osphresiophobia in court. Nobody worth mentioning wanted to smell that. Public

Records indicated this was a common problem. Judge Dread ruled in my favour while Prince Buster sang about Al Capone. Blue Beat was addictive, curing my migraine. Amazing, I was

still not prepared for when The Blue Clyde took the stage. Even Roger Dirt was there. They started off by playing my favorite track from The Partition, Contentedly Dumb, which was

performed naked on kazoos while Blue Clyde stood on their heads with paper bags on their feet. Seeing this live was a special thrill for me. I finally "got" the song. Or I was

just delusional. The medication should have made me sleepy too. Was I asleep? Was I dead? No, turns out I was just a member of an underground band in the 60's.