That's when Bernie did something that shocked

That's when Bernie did something that shocked me. He looked up, and pointed at my face and said, "Smell my finger."

Reluctantly, I sniffed his finger. I wasn't expecting it sense I was napping. Why do humans always want cats to smell their fingers? Anyway, his finger smelled strongly of

tuna, while I detected hints of pickle, mayonnaise, and (I took another sniff) yes, oatmeal cookie. "Dammit Frank" I meowed. "I told you to wake me up when he makes the tuna". Fran

k shrugged, "What can I tell you? He looked so happy, I didn't have the heart to tell him that tuna and oatmeal cookies don't taste so good together. Be more concerned about radia

tion at any rate." Derek calmly fed the dog another one of the horrible cookies. It seemed to like them. "I think he's really enjoying baking, though. We should encourage him,"

I was doubtful though. No, there had to be a better way to discourage our young baker. So I suggested to Derek to let him join the National Pastry Competition.

This was as tough as Top Chef on the Food Channel. How could someone from the Cordon Bleu cooking school beat Rachel Ray or Julia Child? It was an unanswerable question, indeed.

I asked grandpa Jacques for advice and while we were talking he inadvertently laid out seven entrees and 15 appetizers. "And never mind Google --no matter how you sprout, you are

always stupider than Google." Maybe if grandpa Jacques had instead encouraged me to strive for higher things, I wouldn't have turned out to become a chimney sweep.

I was inwardly cursing Grandpa's memory, when my brush hit on something odd stuck in the flue. It was the stash from a jewelry heist. I always knew Grandpa Jacques was a genius.