In the wan light of morning, thunder rose

  • In the wan light of morning, thunder rose behind me. A few golden leaves drifted at my side, the side of my dagger hand. My hands were empty; my conscience clear. The False Emperor

  • had cast a shadow over this electric dawn. I strode on the carpet of leaves, not even trying to escape the thunder. The False Emperor knew I was coming, but I had a plan. Next

  • in line in ascendancy I knew his dirty little secret. I would expose him before the court and royal guard. The electric dawn was fake! The thunder prerecorded! The carpet of leaves

  • a bit overdone. I myself used to prepare by having an army of gardeners dressed as playing cards pick up every leaf in the yard and then throw them back down right before the guest

  • , because my garden was populated with talking leaves, tall talking flowers, and other strange things. Living in Wonderland was strange in itself, but no one was more stranger than

  • My Uncle Eddie and his deadbeat buddies tripping on acid running through the woods playing banjos and singing about the trees and forest creatures whispering their secrets. Nothing

  • Could ever beat that scene. I wished I could record it all, especially the part where they joined the apes in what seemed like a mating dance. They tried to get me to join them but

  • I politely declined. Magilla Gorilla from Manila stole the show when he mistook Blonde #2's hair for a wig. He learned a quick lesson in gorilla ettiquette. His mum stopped him.

  • Magilla was disappointed, because he had intended to eat Blonde #2's wig. It looked so delicious. But it was her real hair and now he'd have to find lunch elsewhere. Blonde #2 was

  • happy to refer him toTrump. He'd let people feel his hair to prove it was real & not a guinea pig. So he tried Donald's hair. It was delicious but, sadly poison. Poor Magilla.



  1. LordVacuity Oct 14 2016 @ 20:23

    Topical. Ointment.

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