Once upon a time in a land not very far away,

Once upon a time in a land not very far away, there lived a boy.

..and boy-oh-boy what a boy he was! Yes, that's right. This is the story of how Chef Boy-ar-dee became famous. Quite an unusual story too. Not what you'd expect. It all began in

Galilee. Before he was Chef-boy-ardee he was just the son of an unleavened bread maker. He was born in a granary. Three food critics had come bearing gifts.

The first of the three food critics wisely offered the young Chef-boy-ardee a collection of Italian recipes. The second critic gave him yeast to make his bread rise. The third

food critic offered the young chef Boyardee some surplus dog food, which he didn't need any more since his dogs had mysteriously died earlier that day. With these items, the chef

cooked up a storm & came of with ravioli & meatballs.The food critic delegated tasting Young Boyardee meal to his son who used the scoop-to-your-shirt trick & gave it two forks up.

Chef Boyardee had another son who thought the sauce was too reminiscent of the junk food at school. The homemade sauce was better by far. The food critics agreed. It was remade.

The homemade sauce was monkeyed with until it tasted just like the junk food at school. When Chef Boyardee's 3rd secret son piped up that it also tasted like grampa's diaper there

was loud agreement and much harumph-ing. The elders of the Boyardee clan immediately moved to have the Chef removed from his post and replaced by his 4th secret son, the mysterious

Kalinar, who harbored a secret grudge against the Chef for abusing his mother. Kalinar became the new Chef, and years later have his father quietly assassinated with poisoned soup.