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His fist crashes into my nose, causing a

  • His fist crashes into my nose, causing a loud crack and sending blood everywhere. He smirks and says, "You really suck at this." I smile and say, "Screw you too."

    2
  • Our 60-second speed date was off to a rocky start. "Don't be so jealous," I said, mopping up my blood. "I'm supposed to talk to other men. That's the point." "Adulterous wench!" he

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  • sobbed into his styrofoam coffee cup. "I loved you! I loved you ever since I first saw you twenty seconds ago and cut you, don't you understand? So you'd never forget me!" I didn't

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  • know what Ted was doing, but this "Ice Breaker" wasn't making any sense. Sheila from Admin started screaming, "Ted, Boundaries! Boundaries!"

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  • The Boundaries were trying to hold things in, but sense had already jumped over the context and was sprinting for complete pandamonium.

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  • However boundaries don't last forever...

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  • He took out his eraser and rubbed out the border between North and South Dakota. "There! now they are one state! That was easy." Next, he eyed West Virginia.

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  • Not being too sharp on geography, he mistakenly rubbed out the border between W. Virginia and Pennsylvania, taking out the Mason-Dixon line as well. The southerners

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  • and northerners where so angry that they could no longer distinguish between the North and the South that they decided to start another Civil War.

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  • Of course, this only reached as far north as West Virginia, but they were just angsty because they weren't included in the Eastern States Exposition. A Mason-Dixon in crayon.

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