In the spring, animals wake from hibernation

In the spring, animals wake from hibernation but how is it that she still sleeps. The doctor says she thinks its time to pull the plug but my family can't bare the loss of a rock.

But me, my heart is made of stone. I tell the nurses to pull the plug on my pet rock. As the paperwork is filled out, the doctor reaches for the cord, but then something happens

Rocky opens his sleepy little eyes, and blinks at me. Twice. In those two little blinks, my heart melts. I feel human again. Human with a pet rock. My heart stops when Rocky says

, "Oh Holy Personifier, lend me your joy, tears, and some arms and legs if you have time." Rock the pet rock was getting greedy. I shouldn't have given him the 7 deadly sins, after

midnight, against the pet rock shopkeeper's advice. Now Rock was sporting spiked hair and had developed carnivorous cravings. "Sorry, I cannot spare any limbs today, " I cried.

so tossed some hamburger meat into the rock terrarium. Wrong idea. I heard some bituminous grinding sounds and hardly slept a wink. Next morning I called a geologist. he said Rock

joined the Revolutionaries, the one place where my Exploding Digestive System Syndrome might be put to practical use. Their charismatic leader, Blikk, was thrilled when he learned

of my Exploding Digestive Syndrome and exclaimed that my "talents" would be put to good use. The next day, I was trained in the ways of the suicide bomber by none other than

Lake Titicaca, which is fairly appropriate if you think about it. From there, I took my "talents" to South Beach and ruined: swim trunks, 600 people's days, and this story.