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A major unintended consequence of the collapse

  • A major unintended consequence of the collapse of the Iron Curtain in 1989 (ish) was that the UK would never again win the Eurovision Song Contest. If we'd known this, our celebrat
  • ory hijinx would have been at a pitch even more fevered. You see nothing is more depraved, rank, sad, putrid, fetid or disgusting as the Eurovision Song Contest. The music
  • was actually OK, but the tendency for Europeans to not wear deodorant made the Eurovision Song Contest quite an aromatic affair. The rest of the world doesn't know what they're mis
  • Sing until they hear the latest "next ABBA". The Boulevard de la Madeleine was where the Mermaids slithered up on stage and sang "Plastic Flowers".
  • The audience was receptive at first but lost interest right away & the Mermaids could see it. The mood of the crowd suddenly changed & Naomi took charge of the Mermaids & turned it
  • -chy with frustration. "We're losing them, girls," Naomi told the mermaids, "Does anyone know how to tap-dance?" But the mermaids could only shake their beautiful heads. "Shelley!"
  • Where are you, gurl? Come on, shake a tail feather. You mermaids all were blessed with beautiful heads and heart-shaped tail feathers. Now, get out there and shake yours, Shelley!"
  • So Shelly shook her tail feathers, but halfway through the mermaid dance recital she asked, "Do fish have feathers?" Unfortunately, mermaids are also ditzy valley girls, so nobody
  • paid her much attention when she asked questions like these. She was genuinely asking, though. Shelly raised her voice, "No, but, like, do they have feathers? It would look
  • ridiculous without feathers. We need feathers!". She started pacing around the room nervously.
Started
2013-05-11 17:09:15
Finished
2019-11-05 16:13:20

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Nov 07 2019 @ 15:03

    You have not lived until you've seen a legless mermaid pacing nervously. Or read this story.
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity Nov 07 2019 @ 15:41

    It is true. I've never lived.
  3. Avatar

    Jimbeau Nov 10 2019 @ 14:09

    Mermaids can't tap dance, but they can do the bird....baa baa baa ooom mow mow baa baa ooom mow mow

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