The earwig looked around the doorframe for

The earwig looked around the doorframe for the last time. "Freedom," she thought, "How I've dreamed of you." All those long hours of just being another pest were finally at an end.

" and the earwig achieved total consciousness. When the earwig opened her third eye she was able to launch herself through astral projection into something fantastic.

She could finally understand human nature! But before she started her analysis, a little voice in the insect's head warned her: "Never study or try to understand cynicism, or you

didn't listen to this warning". She didn't understand it when cynicism reared up its head like that. The hivemind never had that. Maybe she didn't quite understand humans afterall.

What the hivemind didn't understand could fill a planet. Not a planetoid like Pluto, but the real deal. For instance, the hivemind didn't understand how to bake cookies despite

the cookies being sold pre-baked. They would try and try to bake them, but for some odd reason they always came out hard as a rock and black like charcoal.

They tossed the burnt cookies out of the window and onto the ice-covered lake, where children hit at them with sticks. And that's how hockey was invented. So don't cry when you

Ate all of the little children. Once he had freed the cookies frik enslavement,

666