Through the looking glass it would seem my

  • Through the looking glass it would seem my trophy case had perhaps been ram-sacked or tampered with... Not so much as a remnant of proof boasting of my bountiful accomplishments

  • dotted his walls. When a "Ram" sacks your house he is goddamned thorough. So somewhere in the Rockies is a Ram roaming the sheer rock faces with my Karate trophies and

  • a crapton of beanie babies. I really think some of them were worth something but the bottom of the market kinda dropped out after the revelation that the filling inside caused

  • bulemia. Noone wanted to look like a suction-cheeked crane-legged model on the catwalk. Rubenesque was in. The extrawide collection from Beyoncé was all the rage. Molly models were

  • specially trained. They ate all day and pranced the catwalk at night. They wore the most glamerous of designs. The Kirstie Alley collection. Made in China, these dresses were so

  • expensive that only two of them were ever produced and one had been sold for the soul of Justin Beiber, which apparently is worth quite a lot. These supermodels

  • had been taught by some shyster to philosophize about what they do, so now they think they're actually smart, which lends them extra smugness as they show off ugly, overpriced garb

  • to likeminded post-modernists. Gabe loved hearing that he looked just like a late Le Corbusier building. However, deep down, he just felt naked. However, day in and day out, he

  • devoured architectural magazines. He used even gardening articles as inspiration in his transformation. Gabe's feet were already covered in cacti, now his head resembled Danish

  • furniture-minimalist and stylish. He was then sold several times in the trendier circles of Copenhagen and many a beer was spilled upon him. He would never see a unicorn again.



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