With darkness approaching, I knew that I

With darkness approaching, I knew that I only had a few minutes to make my decision. If I chose wrong, my life might never be the same. I reached my hand forward and selected

the blue door. I opened it and saw what was inside, and there sat a child of about the age of nine. her golden hair looked greasy and dirty. All I could think was i chose wrong.

She turned and looked me in the eyes, a glare that suggested terrible things.

things like hate... evil... and all those other bad things. it was so bad that i thought i wouldnt be able to make her happy again. but in the end... i did.

life is so short just say fuck it

When the contractions started, I was like "fµck yeah!" & there I was. When my mother offered me a teat, I was all "f#ck yeah!" And when I started to walk "fůck yeah" My first words

Were learned from my aunt who was notoriously dropping bombs on everyone. The blackmailing husband of hers was in jail for life. That was my childhood.

It was just me and Aunt Claudia and her lesbian lover Mabel Syrup. We spent lots of time building bombs in our basement and then sneaking out at night to drop them on unsuspecting

men's rights activists. Which is difficult, because they tend to suspect everything. "I would feel bad about this," said Mabel Syrup in her striking haircut. "But I really don't."