I counted the homemade meatballs in my homemade

  • I counted the homemade meatballs in my homemade chilli sauce and froze. I was dealing with a prime number.

  • It had to mean something. Something cosmic, something wonderful. What being could be trying to reach out to me? An alien? An angel? I was at an existential crossroads with no sign

  • atories to my border-crossing, but I was also in a coffee shop, so had to act normal. I knew I was a little crazy, but the recent signs seemed to come from some intelligence

  • from some statements my partner said. So I said, "Yeah, but Jewels, that's a bum. You're gonna be a bum." Then all of a sudden a British man and his girl raised guns and yelled, "

  • OH NO IT ISN'T!" Drawing my 38 special I yelled back "OH YES IT IS!" We were at a Christmas pantomime Mexican stand-off. I was in the front half and Jewels was loaded in the back.

  • Someone in the crowd asked, "Who will save your soul now, Jewels?" Just then a hush fell on the room as the real Jewels sauntered into the room & said, "I save my soul for myself."

  • Jewels revealed she ate only organic food, and Jules asked if she didn't waste precious money on something that flew out the window and raised the household expenses. She broke a

  • scared vow she had made to herself when she acquiesced to Jules and ate a can of Beefaroni (circa 1967) with him. The contents didn't agree with Jewel, she soon lost it, and him.

  • "I thought we had an understanding!" Jewel cried out to the empty can of Beefaroni. "I thought we were in agreement!" The can snarled. "You thought wrong, doll. Now Jules is mine!"

  • Jewel was overcome with a surge of rage. It flooded her body and turned her vision red. She snatched the Beefaroni can and threw it to the ground, grinding her heel into the metal.



  1. LordVacuity Feb 21 2020 @ 19:41

    Thatsa a gooda meataball.

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