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At first light, she saw the tracks in the

  • At first light, she saw the tracks in the snow. Stepping back from the window, she put her hand out and pointed. But he wasn't ready or able to

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  • get it up while laying in the snow. It was just too cold. It was a shameful position to be caught in. Flaccid, naked and freezing and unknowingly standing in front of

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  • my mom, with grandma behind her. Grammie whistled and said, "That's the smallest tallywacker I've seen since the Midget autopsy I did when

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  • I was on my third tour in Nam." I turned beet red. My Mom gasped and passed out. Grammie said "Seriously." and held out a wiggling pinky finger.

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  • I left on the next bus out of there. All I had in my pocket was a couple of dollars and a moldy potato. I decided then I could be a ventroloquist in Las Vagas or eat the potato.

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  • I went with ventriloquism; it seemed like the safer route. After carving a mouth into the potato, and finger holes to grab, I worked the street for six months, waiting for my break

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  • in a city of deaf my break was questionable. Potatoes grow eveywhere. Maybe the eyes have it. It's safe to assume neither of my voices were heard. 6 months work down the drain and

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  • no apparent results made me rather irritable. Those potatoes were quite common, and I don't see why I should have been blamed for their loss. Neither of my voices were deafening.

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  • But I could only mumble that the grocery store was still open and what was the big issue? Just then, a truck screeched to a halt out front, and UPS delivered a huge GMO potato

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  • The kids stuck plastic ears, teeth, eyes & mustashe on it. I lent my bowler & shoes & we had "life size" Mr. Potatohead! But that night Mr. P got the axe & proved your worst fears.

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