The Dog Knight lowered his visor. His bone

The Dog Knight lowered his visor. His bone lance was aimed directly at the Unicorn Dragon. This would be the end of the Charred Oppression.

The Dog Knight charged. The Unicorn Dragon filled his lungs. The Dog Knight lunged his bone lance. The Unicorn Dragon breathed fire rendering the onlookers unable to look on as smo

ke enveloped everything. Now the onlookers were doubled over, hacking up a lung, their eyes watering. When the smoke finally cleared both Dog Knight and Unicorn Dragon lay there

smoking a cigarette with a faraway look in their eyes. Princess Bernice rushed over and threw her engagement ring in Dog Knight's face. "Take that you dirty, doublecrossing son of

a mutt, we're through!" With that Princess Bernice dropped her cig butt at Dog Knight's feet. That's when the large bear wearing khakis strolled by and whispered: "Only you

can prevent the fire in my loins". Princess Bernice scowled. "Stuff it Smokey!" Then Joe Camel sauntered up in a leisure suit smoknig. "You ain't got any hump!" She dismiissed him

with a scimitar to the belly; Princess Bernice was skilled in close combat. She looked down the line of suitors, perhaps 1000 in all, and sighed in resignation. Was there not one

Who understood her schizotypical tendencies? She carried her pistol everywhere. Princess Bernice put on her meat cleaver costume. Then she fed her three cats. All were tabbies.

But when the three little kittens saw Princess Bernice in her meat cleaver costume, they lost more than their mittens, let me tell you. They left town on the next bus and never

looked back. To this day, the echo of their paw steps can be heard from miles around. And that, kiddos, is how uncle Charlie came up with the million $ idea for Kitten Mittens.