The crow landed on the sill and said, "Nevermore!"

The crow landed on the sill and said, "Nevermore!" Hellraiser was eating a chicken pot pie, he looked at the window and

peered up at the Raven. "I know, I know. Time to go to work." The cenobite stretched the cricks out his back and went down to punch his time card. "Late again." said Pinhead.

This wasn't how the hero of emo kids everywhere wanted to spend his days, so Pinhead moped at the retirement home's daily meeting of the crochet club. His face like a slapped ass,

all red and puffy. He just sat there getting more and more steamed up until he snapped and yelled "Jeopardy is rigged!" and "Rap music is the best!" The old folks all turned to loo

t the audience. It was a mad house! Alex Trebek call the Men In Black to stop 50 Cent from exposing the truth behind the conspiracy. More old people were pillaging. 50 Cent ran

as fast as he could to the door, but Magic Mike stopped him in his tracks. 50 Cent opened his mouth; he wanted to tell the whole world the truth of the conspiracy, but all eyes

were on Magic Mike's perfectly wrapped package. "Hey, shorty. It's your birthday?!" 50 Cent couldn't afford to get him a gift. (He forgot actually.)

It was cold as a bitch outside!

But sasquatch had other ideas for me. As I scribbled into my diary, a shadow fell across my window. It was bigfoot. Glass shattered as a huge hand reached in and crushed my throat.