Jacqui's burns were healing nicely now -

Jacqui's burns were healing nicely now - she'd never use meths on Christmas pudding again! She put on a pair of new Christmas knickers & wondered why they had a bow at the front

then she realized you press the red jeweled star button in the middle and the bow twisted round on the Christmas knickers and the sound of "Jingle Bells" came out which baffled her

because the Christmas knickers always gave rise to the Joseph Tent, where little baby Jesus was visited by two old, wrinkly, hairy wise men. Her part in this nativity was to

spice it up a little. Really draw the crowd in and play to man's baser instincts. Jenny wasn't a naturally flirtatious girl but she wanted this year's Christmas nativity scene to b

e a hit. So when the raunchy bump and grind music began, she stripped off her robes and danced lasciviously with the baby Jesus. The 3 wise men's actions were too lewd to describe.

And please don't ask me about Joseph and the sheep. All I can say it was like the 90's all over except not on your screensaver, and God saw it was good.

The Clinton era was like that. What were they smoking when the house burned down? No one was alive to answer that question. Sharks infested the water to such an extent even Sata

n Claus didn't haunt the premises once a year. "Do they even know it's Exorcismas at all?" The orphans lamented,but after a more suitable candidate was elected Satan Claus returned

to his job at the Clamato cannery. Satan Claus was embarrassed about not winning the election, but his co-workers were sensitive to his emotional needs. After a while they all

sprinkled him with left over sugar from the sugar plum fairy's secret stash and served him for dinner with a fine keyonte wine. "Take that for all the years of unpaid servitude!"