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Would you rather produce earwax so quickly

  • Would you rather produce earwax so quickly it falls out of your ears every minute OR have a constant "wet spot" in the crotch of your pants?
  • Sadly, Dunderoo the Electric Bank Teller could do neither, as he produced neither moisture nor ear wax. "Damn this life devoid of excrement!" he shouted as he processed deposits.
  • Dunderoo dreamt of a life where he was degraded to a real live bank teller just like the old days. Historical records showed
  • , however, that bank tellers were once highly regarded and well paid. Funny how those who care for what is most dear to us (babysitters, teachers, bank tellers) are paid the least.
  • Funny. Not as in laugh. Funny, as in weird. Time to change things around. Here comes Mrs. Schneller with her bank deposit. I'm going to ask her for 400 forms of ID before even
  • asking why she's here. What a tool she is, saying she only has 2 IDs. Obviously. I told old Mrs. Schellner to bring back her taxes from the last 8 years, and to fill out this
  • form in triplicate & get it counter signed by a Commissioner of Oaths. Old Mrs Schellner hit me over the head with her umbrella until I said a couple of signatures would be fine
  • To complete the process of bifurtification and declate the whole experiment a success, after ten years of work. The bifurcated heads grew noses six inches long and feet size 13.
  • Its been ten years since ive eaten a head with a nose that long. Oh how my tongue longs for the taste. For the fleshy bite of the skin and muscle. How the fat melts in me mouth
  • and the nostril hairs add that tang of saltiness. But Jimmy Durante is dead and I'll never have another meal like that. Never, never, never...
Started
2013-02-18 20:23:07
Finished
2016-08-03 17:04:21

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    PurpleProf Aug 03 2016 @ 17:12

    What was I even thinking when I started this story? (Red Face)
  2. Avatar

    Woab Aug 03 2016 @ 17:24

    It was in February of 2013. You were young and inexperienced. H: You wore a gown of gold M: I was all in blue H: Am I getting old? M: Oh, no, not you How strong you were How young and gay A prince of love In every way H: Ah, yes, I remember it well

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