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Thump. Swish! Crash. Bang! What is going

  • Thump. Swish! Crash. Bang! What is going on up there?
  • "Nothing, Mom!" (whispers....THUD!) "You're up to something!" (dragging sound) "IT'S NOTHING! I'm (oomph) just rearranging my room!" (CRASH!) "I'm coming up there!" "NO! DON'T
  • COME UP HERE! I'M NAKED!" I screamed in desperation. "WHY ARE YOU NAKED?"
  • "Because I'm freakin' SPIDERMAN!"
  • I spin my webs, any size. catch some thieves, just like flies. listen bud, I've got radioactive blood, hey there, I'm a bugeyed, and my hair fell out, now I look like
  • Charlie Sheen and Gary Busy in a skin-grafting accident. But this one thief I caught in the web changed my life forever. It wasn't the face, or great smell, no, it was
  • the texture of his hair. Silky, but with just a touch of grit that made me think he'd rubbed his noggin in the catbox or sandbox or some box or other. He'd been stealing credit
  • cards and using them to order things on Chewy.com. I found the stolen credit cards at the bottom of his cat-box, which he assumed I never emptied. They were in no condition to be
  • auctioned but that didn't stop me. I called in a few favors and in one case I had to beg, but I got the stolen credit cards the cat left listed at Christies. It was expected that I
  • would discipline the cat, which had an unusually long tail. I locked the cat in a room in my house, which I filled wall to wall with a bunch of motorized rocking chairs. Mee-OWWWW!

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