60

I rifled through the cardboard box, looking

  • I rifled through the cardboard box, looking for my old toy gun. Headless barbies vaulted out of the box and something sticky met my fingers at the bottom. 'Hey, this feels like...'
  • and then I was swallowed by my boa constrictor. As I was digested I actually didn't die. Instead my consciousness melded with the snake's and now I am
  • getting revenge on the cankles that wronged me. My snake teeth bit my ex-wife, Tina, injecting the venom. She was too fat for it to have an effect, so I tried Plan B: Constriction.
  • I wrapped my 4 limbs around the globular form of Tina, ex-wife, determined on crushing and ingesting her whole. "Oh honey," she said, "you still care!" "Madam, you are mistaken," I
  • mumbled as I lathed her dimpled corpulence, preparing her for wholistic ingestion. My ex-wife giggled. She was so naive, Tina was. She thought we were role-playing. Limbs akimbo, I
  • played Nintendo. I had no friends-o. Well, there was Fernando but he just said "no comprendo". Luckily Tina went commando because next I swallowed my ex, whole.
  • I chewed though my ex reeked so and sang librettos. Afterwards I ate a piece of pecorino & drank an espresso. But then I was bit by a mosquito, which had wandered into my gazpacho.
  • "Hiya!" The mosquito said as he ate my cherries. I swatted at him and said, "Get the hell out of here!" He stared at me and warned about karmic consequences of killing bugs. I was
  • furious. Who was he to warn me of such consequences when he was the one eating my cherries?! I swatted even more vigorously than I had before, and soon it went out with a splat.
  • The cherries all fell to the ground, splattering like the remains of a particularly convoluted Folding Story.
Started
2012-09-12 07:32:04
Finished
2016-05-11 15:47:37

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    PurpleProf May 11 2016 @ 20:03

    I believe I deserve more points for the phrase "lathed her dimpled corpulence". COME ON!!! Oh, and I about died at 49er Faithful's "played Nintendo". HAHAHAHHAHHAHHAAA!
  2. Avatar

    49erFaithful May 17 2016 @ 12:14

    Thanks Prof! I like "wholistic ingestion" too. Sounds very healthy. :-)

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