He dismissed his secretary for the night.

He dismissed his secretary for the night. She'd served him well and would not be consumed by the flames of hell before the morning. He cringed. He so wanted them to, but good help

wasn't as hard to keep as it was to pack into a suitcase for use on long trips! The TSA always asks pesky questions, like "are those human remains?" or "why is that glowing ?"

To admit that is was my pet zombie was not an option. Good thing I was good at science babble and could make something insane sound sane. Another thing I was good as was

selling oranges by the freeway. I had sold 17 dozen sacks since Labor Day and was strongly considering expanding my empire to

include the corner across the street, I would be Donald Trump of Selling Oranges along the freeway. But I needed a labor force worse off than me, so I

filled up my old Volkswagen Rabbit with enough gas to reach Wisconsin. On the highway I encountered a row of flares. I stopped, and suddenly my back window exploded into shards as

a moose lept through it and landed on the cello case on the back seat. I stepped on the gas & made a U-turn into the opposite lane. Lights & sirens came on behind me

- it was the Mooseport Police. They thought I was moosenapping one of their beloved, palmate-antlered quadrupeds (the moose in the back seat WAS suspicious). I stepped on the

barely able to maintain a speed of 30 MPH. I thought I would never get away but I looked in my rearview window and saw the crash had made the squad car explode. I loved fireworks!