Agnes Faulks laid her dingo to rest on the

Agnes Faulks laid her dingo to rest on the Salisbury Plain. It was just a dingo, unspecial to most, but it was her dingo and he knew her name. Their private moment was interrupted

by a band of druids going to worship the solstice at Stone Henge. They said, "We'll take over from here," and they put Agnes Faulks' dead dingo into a wicker dog & set fire to him.

A coalition of vegetation deities arrived. "Is this sacrifice for us?" asked Attis. "Sure, why not," chorused the druids. As the deities devoured Agnes Faulk's smoking dingo, she

pulled Ceres aside and asked her, the Goddess of Crops, for advice about her dingo situation now that she, Ceres and her fellow deities, were eating her last & favorite dingo. The

thing was the dingo had stolen the daughter of Pallas & hidden her in Orpheus' garden so Pallas thought it was just desserts. Ceres advised to use a dingo dongle to detect

people posting their prejudices on the Internet under the guise of right-wing religious nuts. The dingo would bite them right in the dongles. Ceres had a space station named after

John Birch. Most people didn't call it the John Birch though. They referred to it by its hull number instead: Space Station 13. Ceres spent billions of dollops to develop rightwing

strategies to try to lure the former CEO onto the craft, claiming that simply boarding it would cause renewed hair growth and increased mojo, but it was the promise that he would

struggle to make good on as the voyage commenced. He tried everything: rubbing toothpaste, Coca-Cola, and powdered coffee creamer on the rich man's head. Nothing made hair grow!

Logically the only thing that could assuage the man's worries was to have no head for hair to grow on at all. That was it then, a sharpened blade would provide a final solution.