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Look at this piece of wood! he thundered.

  • Look at this piece of wood! he thundered. And it threw a fleshly-cut tree trunk dangerously close to my feet. I stammered, drooping the ax. Umm, mister Ent... the story is not that

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  • thrilling, except for the part where the angry tree spirit threatened me with a birch rod. "You're lucky I'm all spruced up and getting ready to go out," the Ent barked.

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  • I was about to say something nasty back when I reminded myself that she was just worried about her xylem. I guess i would be testy if I had that hanging over me. "Sorry, mind the g

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  • force," the pilot yelled over his shoulder. "We best buckle up," I suggested, leaning over to fasten her seat-belt for her. "Thanks..." she said begrudgingly, not meeting my eyes.

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  • I squeezed my eyes shut. I'd always hated airplanes, but at least I had someone next to me this time. Even if she wasn't all too fond of me.

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  • Even if she was made out of plastic and prone to springing a leak. She came in handy when the right engine of the plane blew. The captain asked me to inflate my whole collection to

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  • capacity with helium, and the plane came down safely, saving all aboard. But the passengers were embarrassed when they learned that they were indebted to a gaggle of sex dolls, and

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  • The Omaha Love Doll Company of Omaha. Unfortunately, that meant Frederick's of Peoria didn't get their shipment of Omaha Love Dolls. A sex shop without sex dolls was like a funnel

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  • without a drain hole, or something like that. The shipment of Omaha Love Dolls ended up delivered to the wrong place: a KinderCare in Akron, Ohio. The kiddies enjoyed the dolls and

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  • before they knew it the dolls had come to life and attacked the children. The police never found out who attacked all of the children at KinderCare.

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