Look at this piece of wood! he thundered.

Look at this piece of wood! he thundered. And it threw a fleshly-cut tree trunk dangerously close to my feet. I stammered, drooping the ax. Umm, mister Ent... the story is not that

thrilling, except for the part where the angry tree spirit threatened me with a birch rod. "You're lucky I'm all spruced up and getting ready to go out," the Ent barked.

force," the pilot yelled over his shoulder. "We best buckle up," I suggested, leaning over to fasten her seat-belt for her. "Thanks..." she said begrudgingly, not meeting my eyes.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I'd always hated airplanes, but at least I had someone next to me this time. Even if she wasn't all too fond of me.

Even if she was made out of plastic and prone to springing a leak. She came in handy when the right engine of the plane blew. The captain asked me to inflate my whole collection to

capacity with helium, and the plane came down safely, saving all aboard. But the passengers were embarrassed when they learned that they were indebted to a gaggle of sex dolls, and

The Omaha Love Doll Company of Omaha. Unfortunately, that meant Frederick's of Peoria didn't get their shipment of Omaha Love Dolls. A sex shop without sex dolls was like a funnel

without a drain hole, or something like that. The shipment of Omaha Love Dolls ended up delivered to the wrong place: a KinderCare in Akron, Ohio. The kiddies enjoyed the dolls and

before they knew it the dolls had come to life and attacked the children. The police never found out who attacked all of the children at KinderCare.