The man beside me picked up a burger, chewed,

The man beside me picked up a burger, chewed, and swallowed. Soon, that burger was gone. Then, another. And another. After the fourth or so, I began to wonder if he would ever

realize that his barn door was open. I tried to gesture to him with a subtle eye bulge and head tilt but he must have misconstrued my intention for something obscene because he

grabbed my lapels and shouted with rum soaked breath "What you be IMPLYING!" I murmured "x, y, z, p, d, q." He stopped and looked at his crouch. This allowed me to

quickly scribble a note with my special pencil. 'I think that: a) you're nuts and b-z) see a' I passed him the note through his legs and quickly got into the downward dog position.

He went into Wind Pose. So I countered with Bow posture up to ear. He did a Half lord of the fishes pose and of course I went to Half boat posture. Fuming, he gave me "The Finger"

which cried out for me to counter with Foot up Colon but I kind of knew that is what he expected so I went with Katana across torso with upwards stroke. Just to accentuate the feat

The blow took his breath and I knew the advantage was mine. Stay calm, breathe, do not get lazy. As he staggered to his feet I saw a reflection in his eye from behind me. Pain

Was visible as Ethel P. Nelson and her roller parrots entered the room. The first parrot, Alfred, declared "Put down your chainsaw, now!" Then his nine siblings chanted in unison.

"Parrot Roller Derby Smackdown!" the nine gaudy birds chanted. With a roar of wheels the parrots hit the rink, shrieking and tearing at each other's feathers. Ethel was referee,

Ethel made a final call that Pirate Polly's roller blade had been out of bounds when one eye'd Jill had gone down & there fore she was disqualified. The crowd went wild! Amazing!