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Smoking weed is one of the best things I

  • Smoking weed is one of the best things I can do, but tonight
  • I thought I would try smoking coffee. I started with Hills Bros. but it wasn't giving me the morning buzz. Maybe if I added a depth charge and used Jamaican Blue...
  • That definitely had an effect but it was too mellow. I never made it off the couch & consumed an entire bag of cheesy poofs. So I went to 2 scoops of French roast in a corncob pipe
  • I had a feeling Brian had tainted the innocent blunt he had passed to me. Usually, I become paranoid thinking satan is going to kill me if he found out I smoked again. What had he
  • done? WHAT HAD HE DONE? Looking closer, I ripped off Brian's face, which was actually a mask. Behind it was a murderous salt shaker cyborg. "Exterminate, EXTERMINATE!" it screamed.
  • I jumped back and slipped on some oily shit that was coming our from under the salt shaker cyborg. I assumed it was an attack so I activated my defenses while I got clear of the th
  • Landmines left behind by its snot. Cyborgs were something I was only recently warned about. Robot cops appeared first on the streets of London. More reason to avoid blue lights.
  • But this was to my detriment, as it made me steer clear of the Blue Light specials at Kmart, and I missed out on many a deal on singing wall fish and 100% polyester sheets. So I
  • decided not to miss out & drove to my local Kmart…closed. I knew Kmart was closing stores, but not MY local Kmart! C’mon! I drove to another one I knew 20 miles away…also closed.
  • How in the heck was I to bask in the infamous glow of the Blue LIght Special?! Oh sh*t! I just saw someone I know. They mustn't see me here! ABORT PLAN! All KMART shoppers! ABORT!
Started
2014-04-03 02:23:10
Finished
2019-12-04 05:37:43

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Dec 05 2019 @ 14:42

    You're writing some funny endings ValkyrieGrrl.
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity Dec 05 2019 @ 17:45

    I had that same reaction to being outed as a Kmart shopper on the bus by Mike. G right in front of the cute new girl on the bus. I dragged both of us off the bus even though it wasn't our stop.
  3. Avatar

    ValkyrieGrrl Feb 16 2020 @ 16:14

    Thanks, Slim. That's high praise indeed coming from the High Priest himself! Thank you !!

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