"I bet I can shed faster than you," said

"I bet I can shed faster than you," said the snake. "Not so!" said the blue crab. As they speed-molted, Aesop rolled his eyes. Animals would try anything to star in his next Fable.

"You see and the moral is..." "NEXT!" Aesop sighed. Where was the talent like the Tortoise and the Hare? Next up was a Fox holding some grapes. "THIS had better be good."

The fox told a tale using the grapes, explaining it illustrated adaptive preference formation and its relation to cognitive dissonance. Aesop yawned. The next candidate was a goose

who came in and promptly laid a golden egg. Aesop rolled his eyes and when a gander walked in, he said "Whoa whoa whoa, I've heard this one before too! NEXT!" Timidly, a small deer

walked in & asked "Where's my mother?". "Your on the wrong set. Walt's down the hall. Next.", Aesop said. When a pink Hippo & a manatee waddled onto the set. "Hmm... interesting.

But not interesting enough." Casting their lives away, Posea Aesop lit another skanky cigarette and stared down the next person who needed a break. Bitches, all of them, he thought

-lessy said out loud. He didn't know his wife's mother was in the audience. She wacked Posea Aesop in the belly with a shopping bag full of tequila. He doubled over and rolled

a joint to calm his nerves. His mother-in-law always made him feel on edge. One day he would get his revenge. One day he would

eat all her Oreos. Then she'd be pissed and he'd giggle in the basement, high as a kite. Still, a part of him felt bad about what he was going to do, until he took another hit.

He went to the Oreos and ate them all, without regret. But she only smiled wryly, for she knew something he didn't. She had poised the Oreos, so he would turn into a cantaloupe.