I used clip on ties and shoes with buckles,
- I used clip on ties and shoes with buckles, tore open plastic bags with stay fresh ties a& managed to hide my inability until the day I was supposed to tie the knot. My fiancee
- was one hell of a sexy woman, and also the kindest soul I've ever known. I reflected to myself, "Surely this wedding day couldn't go possibly wrong, right?"
- But of course her husband had to turn up and ruin everything as per usual. He escorted my bride out of the Registry Office and I was left alone with a box of confetti & my shattere
- d heart. This was only my 5th marriage, and I had promised myself I would never make the same mistake again. I stood there, in my rented tuxedo,
- reciting my vows with sincerity. She was 32 and I was 76. She was the one I'd been waiting for all my life. Harold and Britney. The worst part wasn't the sex, it was the
- way she looked while she was sleeping. i couldn't stand it! Her face would contort into the most hideous expressions and her eyes would open from time to time. As though they
- could see me and laughed at my disgust. When sleeping she looked completely different. She gnashed her teeth and roared which kind of reminded me of Where the Wild Things Are. I pa
- used only a nanosecond before I made the decision to leave. I had to be verrrry quiet, though, lest I waken her...it...the beastly thing. I tiptoed past, grabbing my pants, &
- puwwing them on whiwe hobbwing out, but my wittwe wegs got twisted. I stepped on the hem of my pants and stumbwed. Eaws twitching, the sweeping wady wabbit stawtwed awake.
- Rabit arose, and slapped the double-u's out of my speech. hence my inability to actually say double-u rather than actually double-u. I have a problem but it's better than the last.
- Started
- 2014-01-04 18:02:50
- Finished
- 2015-02-02 02:09:30
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lucielucie Feb 03 2015 @ 06:40
Ah-haha foldmeonce!