Turn right. Turn left. Straight ahead three

Turn right. Turn left. Straight ahead three three lengths. Left. Now dial in the code. Wait three seconds. Enter the anagram. The door should open upwards. And there it was the

fucking Metadroid Omniplex. He'd waited three years for the tides to lower enough to expose the drains and memorized the blue prints. But there it glowed, scintillating and wet

disqualifying her pussy at the cat show. Never mind that it was actually a poodle that she had trussed up to look like a cat.

She tried so hard to get into that pussy loving group. Stupid dog! But she couldn't give him up as his fecal matter, inexplicably and fortuitously, contained the rarest form of

unobtanium - the stuff of legends. It put her in one of those textbook situations where she must decide between her love of lesbian orgies, or the riches of her dog's fecal matter.

Poop or pootie, that was the choice. She had no way of judging what might be best. There was no internet here -- no help. She had to go with her gut and chose love and lesbians

, one of her favorite childhood movies. It went down a treat. Family and friends alike could all relate to these women and their ability to screw

carpentry together into handsome pieces of modern furniture. IKEA had nothing on these fine ladies, and even better they didn't have ridiculous names like 'Urksplang' the lamp.

They were soon purchased and distributed around the world. All over this mighty country were new bounties of cheap, dependable, not-box-like furniture. The world was at peace.