"Hey Wilbur, ya seen theyut reddish not so

"Hey Wilbur, ya seen theyut reddish not so twinkly star up yonder above Hanks shed bfore?" Jess, you thayut ignorant? That there's a playanut, Mars uh bulieve." "Yuh mean ayleeyuns

? My buddy's cousin told me all 'bout 'em." Wilbur was fixin' to pitch a fit if Jess didn't shut his dern trap about them blasted ayleeyuns. "Now Jess, why dontcha calm down?"

"Nah Wilbur, ya don unsdershtand! The ayleeyuns were hear, lasht nite, an' dey took me up to der spaaseship, an' dey did some weerd stuff to my head!", exclaimed cousin Jess.

"I say, cousin Jess! Whatever may have happened to your language!" exclaimed Charles, as he adjusted his monocle. "Aliens? Spaceships? Red neck accents?! Too many games I say" Char

les as an asshat of the fifth magnitude so Jess bit into his Bit-O-Honey and thought long and hard. He had a lot to say about language.

Jess chewed his Bit-O-Honey as he lectured her on the semantics of Semantics. Eventually she grew tired of this and said, "How do you talk with your mouth so far up your anus?"

He was taken aback by Jess's question. Had they strayed from the topic of Semantics? "Can you not see me clearly in front of you? Do you see my mouth in my anus? I don't think so."

Clearly, Jess needed to step back from the situation, as she was all ready much too close for comfort. Or he was. Let's face it, they are both out of line and need to join a

support group for people who actually enjoy their own issues. More like a club for two people deliciously too close to each other. “Is that what a “Relationship” is?” Jess wondered

aloud. The support group just sat silently, being UNsupportive. “I don’t need you A-holes!” yelled Jess. She started for the door, then turned back around. “Anyone got bus fare?"