Finished Folds (1—19)
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1The psychiatrist didn't seem surprised. She checked off a few more boxes on the form she was filling out before exclaiming, "Slim, I hate to tell you this, but you are clinically
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3a fire hydrant wrapped in Christmas lights & barbed wire!" Al began laughing hysterically as the room filled with toxic gas. "Ed!" he said, vision blurring, "This is a fudgscicle!"
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8"Dressed? You mean stressed..." I repeated. "Being dressed," reiterated Dr.Phil, "is the root of all your problems." He looked at me expectantly. I gulped, turning to the camera.
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1Literally, not emotionally I mean. I'm changing my name to "Happy" when I divorce Fiona, so I can rub it in her bearded face "I am so happy without you." But I won't ever be happy.
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3it in there. Forgive me if I get sidetracked. I have ADD." The penguin led me inside. "We only got your wife to sign the divorce papers by cutting off her ha- Do you like cookies?"
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4k. Frank the Sasquatch reared his club, laughing as Ann fell to her knees. Either from desperation or nervous insanity, Ann yelled,” Sasquatch doesn’t exist!” ...and he disappeared
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3"Reeeaaally? You'll do Anything?" Catwoman nodded her head, sat down, lifted her leg heavenward, & began to lick herself like a cat. Robin blushed and threw catnip off the rooftop.
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5Preacher Prune adjusted his double monacle & opened his massive lectern. "It says here under Genesis clause 2 section IV that "feeding a naked woman an apple is a capital offense."
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6I swaggered into his house through awkward side-to-side movements, accommodating the miniature explosives wrapped around my testicles. Dave sat there playing the oboe. "DIE DAVE!"
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5nge. Satan was a bit confused to find his jerky coming to life and plotting to kill him. "Huh... I thought running a retail jerky stand would be easier. Best go back to torturing."
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5ase refrain from using 4th wall breaks for petty squables..." his voice trailed off as he began to cry, and he hid his face in his hands. "Mommy," he began, "Please stop drinking."
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2g back.” -Mindless Rantings of Lord Vacuity, Vol. IV. I closed my college text book. The year was 2909. “I can’t believe someone published this sh*t.” The semester was about him
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9“But wait,” drunk me thought, “why not go to Mass in my underwear while drinking Vodka Eggnog?” I groggily grabbed an umbrella, egg, and a bottle of vodka and jumped out the window
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4stayed silent for a moment, then a feeble voice called out from inside “...like the 4th of July?” Kelly, unimpressed, threw the Molotov, blazing up every mattress. Then... screams.
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5he worst half of the last hour. The drunk passed out in my lap before I could ask him what A.R.G.O.N.A.U.T. stood for. “I want to go to boob world, too,” I mused.
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4support group for people who actually enjoy their own issues. More like a club for two people deliciously too close to each other. “Is that what a “Relationship” is?” Jess wondered
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7ShmallzBallz had just joined the community, and was left aghast and slightly frightened by the inner workings of WTF’s mind. “You are the most despicable person I have ever known.”
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8‘s provactive, and frankly arousing words. More so, she was taken aback that her husband was named Fridge. The Moral of this story folks? Manatees are river sluts. THE END!
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8Adam Levine cried for centuries on end, his ego shattered, his reputation ruined. Soon the water level rose until it flooded all low-lying areas, and the singing ducks were happy.