Today marks another day when I awoke alive.

Today marks another day when I awoke alive. Will I ever awake not alive or in death will I never sleep. Thes questions any me every damn morning. Am I mad? No I'm actually quite

quite a sane person. I should know, I've had myself tested. But I can't help but wonder why people always stare when I skip in the streets or ride the grocery carts. Don't they

ever feel the need to cock a snook at convention, say to heck with propriety and just take to the breeze regardless of moral turpitude? I know I do. Consequently my run in with the

rock, paper, scissors champion was hell on earth. I did an eefus-skeefus, and he gave me the cuckold's horns, I countered with stooges double eye poke

which he parried easily. We circled each other slowly. I saw my opening when he moved into crane pose and launched two tickle rockets. The first was merely a diversion; the second

was the real deal. designed by Mr X himself. This rocket if came in touch with a conductive surface would explode unleashing thousands of marshmallows which if consumed would make

everyone feel bloated with a tummy ache. We had no choice but to acquiesce to Mr. X's demands. Of course, X wasn't a pseudonym, it was really spelt Ecks. But his demands were as

logical as his spelling. He wanted dinner for two at the Radisson and a show afterwards. Mr. X was far better known for his villainy than for his creativity. I decided to put on

my little black dress and play along. I put my anti-matter blaster in one of my fishnet stockings, just to be on the safe side. At the Radisson's we had our dinner and Mr. X was bo

wing to the guests to depart when he spied my legs.I don't know what surprised him more,the bulge in my stockings or the flash of light that emanated from them before he vaporized.