• To the person who left a copy of their family jewels on the office printer. I have placed the image on our internal facebook page. Your tattoo is clearly visible. A year end bonus
  • has been scrapped because Mrs. Petri in accounting used it to pay off her gambling debts. In other news, the food poisoning at the I-Team get-together was linked to deviled eggs.
  • Then the Anchor woman stopped. Dead air. She said, "Tom, if you're watching this, sweetheart, I want a divorce. It's over...in other news the Pope said that traditional marriage is
  • on his To Don't list, but if his Zoosk profile is to be believed, the Pope is looking for a friend with benefits. Maybe I'll take him up on that, TOM. Ugh... My producer says that
  • it takes gumption to add to dormant folds. Many contain gerund phrases as the object of a preposition participially compounding the reflexiive complement of an appositive, thereby
  • negating all possibility of redemption for the poor souls who attempt such a task. And now my life hangs in the balance. I have been caught in the fold. I can barely even
  • put a sentence together. I try and try again. I wonder who is watching me and who is judging me. All it takes is a little imagination and three minutes. I felt my breath becoming
  • a little stinky. I probably shouldn't have eaten that Limburger cheese sandwich but I was so hungry after spending hours meditating to my favourite Enya songs. My anxiety
  • disappeared, as did anyone who came near me. I was peacefully alone. Just me, Enya, and my limburger cheese breath. Nirvana.


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