The IKEA was the final battle ground of the

The IKEA was the final battle ground of the Second American Civil War. The Liberal Collective stock piled their supplies there. The Conservative Reformationists planned to capture

IKEA using a clever trojan cabinet trick. The Liberal Collectives troops hid in a PAX cabinet in front of the entrance and posted an apology note on it. The Conservative Reformists

sat around the coffee table, munching in Chex Mix because they didn't know what the hell was going on. It was then we heard the groaning from under the easy chair. Blood

oranges were NOT a good addition to the ChexMix, it made it all mushy, and I love a good ChexMix. We ignored the moaning from under the chair, until it made it hard to hear ModernF

amilyCircus, a stealthily antiquated comic strip audiobook series I kept running next to the snacks. It was the best way to keep guests and oranges away. My health food allergies

were the really cool kind. That's why I shop at Wholefoods. But what I really liked to with Family Circus comic strips (not really a strip per se) was take them into the restroom

And put them in my pocket.

When I got to the bank I gave the nice C cup my envelope and a deposit slip. She took the letter out of the envelope and turned it front and back. She looked under her desk but the

poor woman had been sitting there so long that her legs had totally atrophied. It looked like someone had stuffed beef jerky in her pantyhose. She said she couldn't help me, but I

decided I could help her and with one drop of my magic healing potion her legs became stronger and so did my heart. All the things I thought I'd needed before drifted happily away.