"Go! Go! my pet! Spread chaos and typhoons
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"Go! Go! my pet! Spread chaos and typhoons to Asia!" Cackling loudly, I released the butterfly.
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But it would not flap its wings. It rolled around on the coffee cake. How can I start a typhoon in Asia if this lazy thing won't flap its wings? Instead it dreamed that it was a ma
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ndible in the jaws of a greater Being as loving and tyrannical as it ever had aspired to be, there as it lolled and suffered on the coffee cake, aspiring to stir an Earthly typhoon
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To destroy the resorts where humans were sunbathing naked and skinnydipping. Mammon thought it disgusting how nudist colonies flourished under his rule, as did Turkish baths.
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Mammon struggled with the indecency of nudity and how prolific it seemed to be. But how to stop it? His anger knew no bounds. Violence only spurred them on. Hippies stripped and
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day-glo painted their vans so often that the sheet metal was becoming transparent. Mammon would watch the vans every night from his penthouse in hell. Drive-In lots were the best
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places to pick up lost souls. "Easy pickin'," Mammon muttered gleefully as he flitted toward the rocking vans in the last row of the Drive-In. But when he flung open the doors,
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he was shocked to see a middle-aged woman taking it in 3 orifices. “Mom?!?” cried Mammon. “YOU?!?” Mrs. Mammon stopped her debauchery long enough to speak. “Son, close the van door
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Mammon did as his mother said and closed the door. He wondered why she was so nonchalant about it. He decided to put the car in gear anyway, and drive away all whilst his mom
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read from her bible. "Thou cannot serve both God and mammon," she read aloud. "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, but give to God what is God's." God only wanted his train set back.
4
- Started
- 2013-12-03 21:15:44
- Finished
- 2020-07-24 02:17:23
32 Comments
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Zetawilk Jul 24 2020 @ 02:33
I like how this maintained a philosophical bend throughout.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:35
So you're saying that Eve's transgression led to a derailment of God's train of thought?
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:37
I should have put transgression in quotation marks.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:37
I mean, how much transgression can it be if it was in the script?
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:42
Less so for Satan since, as a "fallen" angel, he is still merely a creature, lacking free will. One could say he is a robot executing the Evil program at the behest of his Programmer.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:44
In that scenario, temptation is merely penetration testing of one's soul.
Zetawilk Jul 24 2020 @ 02:47
Satan, Satan, he's our goat. If he can't do it, we're in the same boat.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:47
Succumbing to temptation is just giving root, su or sudo to the penetration tester over your soul.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:50
Oh, Satan's on this boat too. I wasn't aware of that. I was still hoping for a glance of Woab if only to wave a hello. I'll keep an eye for Satan. I have a matter or two i wanted to take him to task for.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:53
For the record, I plan on keeping both MY eyes for me. The eye I would be holding for Satan would be one not in use by anybody. I would insist. I don't want to be party to even a half blinding.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 02:58
We could entitle this: The Gospel of Mammon. I'm just saying.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 03:01
I've always preferred a good old, "render onto Caesar:God" than having it in a more contemporary vernacular.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 03:03
I mean, even when it was contemporary with it's times it wasn't in a contemporary vernacular. Go figure.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 03:13
That must have been interesting, working on the King James translations of the Bible. Rendering the meanings while fitting the meanings into English. The simple choices one has to make for the sake of a lines meter. Taking into account the modifications that have taken place before you; things glossed over. Elohim being one of the "names" of God AND Elohim having a sense of multiplicity, being a good example. How to explain that in light of the doctrine of God's Uniqueness?
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 03:20
Elohim is more of an epithet than a name. There was at some point a concerted effort to replace God's true name in "Scripture" with epithets such as Elohim or Adonai, etc. This was seen as, at a minimum, a way to curtail the using of God's true name in vain, in violation of the relevant Commandment.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 03:34
The closest that we have left to God's true name in scripture is Yod He Vau He, often rendered as Jehovah or some such. The trick is that presumably we don't know the proper pronunciation since person that knew how to say it had somehow managed to hear it without being present the last time it was spoken by the High Priest before him. The High Priest, alonge, being allowed to speak the name one time a year only; alone and in the presence of the most Holy of Holies inside the Temple of King Solomon during the High Sabbath. Under that scheme how can the true pronunciation be passed down? If the only time it can be spoken and there is nobody but the speaker and God to hear it. I don't see how unless God introduced himself to each new High Priest and told them how it was said. They wouldn't even have a chance to test their pronunciation if he did, unless He gave them dispensation to do so. I wouldn't know. Higher than my pay grade.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 03:38
By the way, my pay grade is rock bottom.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 04:32
It doesn't have to be all about Judaeo-Christian scripture. It might tax me a bit to knock off the rust but i can probably whip something up concerning the Dhammapada or the Bhagavad Gita. I still remember the ending of the Communist Manifesto. Which I learned when I was in 5th grade from a book I found in a trash heap. I also found my first porn magazine there. It was a black & white newsprint paper magazine called Blood on the Saddle. The trash heap didn't belong there. Some wannabe Arlo Guthrie or Arlo Guthrries, kept dumping their trash there. I don't count Playboy, which I had seen before, in the same category as Blood on the Saddle. For starters, Blood on the Saddle depicted full penetration. I'd never seen that.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 04:41
I also remember conducting my own Nuclear Defense Exercises among the rubble where that trash heap kept appearing. It was made up mostly of cement slabs of some sort; like wide stackable sidewalks. I'm thinking now maybe from caissons used to build the railroad trestles across the Maumee River. I'm just guessing. It also had me flirting with my greatest fear of being buried or crushed alive with a big dollop of Claustrophobia.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 04:46
I think it is odd that knowing I'm destined to drown that I'm not that much afraid of the water. I went Navy in spite of that, in fact. One of my most cherished dreams was of me winning by inadvertently drowning. But try to get me to crawl under the house to catch a chupacabre and you might want to call the Ghostbusters instead.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 04:47
And it isn't the chupacabre that is keeping me out.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 04:51
It doesn't help that I keep choosing occupations that have me sleeping in sideways coffins. From the berths on a navy ship to a sleeper in a big rig or the bunk house on an oil rig operation; sideway coffins every one.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 04:54
Throw in an opaque curtain and you've got yourself the full enclosure. At least two times I awoke in a panic beating on the top of my coffin insisting I was still alive. Waking my bunkmates or even the truck driver in the next rig.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 04:59
I told myself to shut up and like Bugs Bunny, when I'm told to shut up, I shut up. So this is me shutting up. Good night to some and good morning to others but I'm choosing good night for me.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 05:01
Let me add a postscript to my shutting up: I have an idea of what might have happened here but I'm not prepared to share my thoughts on that now. Suffice it to say that I hope we passed the audition.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 05:04
Postscript to the postscript of the shutting up: Oh look, it is almost 4:20 AM. I wonder what that means to me and mine.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 05:06
Post-postscript for the modern girl with braces and high credit card balances: This Space Reserved For Future Comment.
LordVacuity Jul 24 2020 @ 05:08
P-P-PS: That won't work.
Woab Jul 24 2020 @ 16:29
Okay, okay, I'll wave to you from the next boat, for the luvva all things holey. *Waving* Hi LV!
LordVacuity Jul 26 2020 @ 01:44
Anybody ever notice that you've never seen Woad and Satan in the same boat. I never have. I mean, I've never seen Woab; let alone on a boat. Satan, I have seen but I don't recall seeing him on a boat. My point stands, none of us has ever seen Woab and Satan in the same boat. At the same time. No need to give you wriggle room.
Woab Jul 27 2020 @ 14:04
Hey, we're all in the same boat.
BlastedHeath Aug 02 2020 @ 15:11
It's a big boat, and the water is wide.