Not everyone could live the perfect life.

Not everyone could live the perfect life. I set out early to prove that imperfection was even more difficult, but every time I turned around, I was accused of being cliche or passe

or so five minutes ago. Fashion was cyclical, but maybe cycling back to last year's fashion was too quick, so I went to the signing and grabbed Michael Kors by his shaggy blond

faux fur stole and licked his face. A real lick, broad tongue from adam's apple to eye ball. A little eye crust tingled on my tongue. I had stopped brushing for weeks and then

my teeth started to come loose, so I knew it was time to

reapply the polydent. It was hard for Bond fans to imagine that the towering "Jaws" had trouble chewing over-cooked vegetables at the Golden Stars Retirement home in Hollywood.

But once got caught in that retainer, only a pair of industrial pliers could do the trick. But Jaws was still an icon & entertained all Bond fans at the retirement home by

hooking up GoldenEye 007 for the N64. It was a good way to distract the old folks from their impending doom. And many of them were war veterans, so they loved a good blood bath.

The elderly quickly got into the game, completely ignoring the scent of burning flesh and the loud crackling of the ever-growing building fire. "Hey! No Oddjob you dickwad!"

got off scot-free and no one will know it's me. Wait where's my wallet, soc sec card, check book, birth cirtificate, and paper that says John Thomson (ME) did this!?!? ....Shit.