The presidential debate went silent. The

The presidential debate went silent. The politicians, the news anchors, the moderator were stunned. A man took the stage, his scornful mug swept everyone, it was Thomas Paine.

But fuck this Dr. What nonsense. What I'm really here to talk about is sex toys and their role in modern society and what would really be the 'ultimate sex toy'.

This is all part of the political correctness agenda, of course. People are rapidly becoming idiocrats as the robots take over the universe. Dr. What knew a lot about this agenda.

"What?" "Say what again. I dare you." Dr. What waited. Mr. Whatsit wondered where he was going with this. "Well?"

"Did you ask for me, I am Dr. Wells", asked Wesley, his head poking in at the window. Winslow whipped around widdershins with his wishy washy webbed feet while walking the walk.

Dr. Wells was a deep man, and it did not suffice to conduct a shallow analysis on Winslow's curiously webbed feet. "It's your DNA," began Dr. Wells, looking gravely down at Winslow

, who held his wingtips over his ear areas, afraid to hear the truth: that he was, in fact, a duck. But Dr. Wells did not reveal this to Winslow. Instead he peeled an orange and

began to eat. Enjoying himself as his teeth sank into the zesty fruit and citrus smells filled the room. God, he thought, oranges are my favorite fruit. They are so darn good.

Maybe it was time he finally revealed his identity to the world. He leapt out his seat, ripped open his shirt and displayed his arms on his hips. "I AM. ZEST. MANNNNN."