The nudist colony had been a great little

The nudist colony had been a great little business back in the Seventies. But these days, Grin and Bare it was lucky if 34 people showed up in a

charter bus. More likely, they would now be wearing fancy suits and dresses, with the days of 'no clothes' just tattered memories. A lottery ticket changes people.

One day you're a nudist trying hard to look everyone in the eye, the next you've won the lottery and can afford real nude beaches and that special part of the red light district

that is only toured by Asian businessmen. I walked, no marched down to that brothel with pockets stuffed with cash. The madame did her thing, I bought a fat Russian woman and then

took her to the circus. She met a man there that seemed to recognize her. They spoke Russian for what seemed like ages, when I finally asked, "Hey, what is going on?" She gave me

a look of anger. Without words she told me to mind my own business. I hadn't known she even spoke Russian, and was now very curious about her insistance that we go to the circus

it was then I noticed her beard and realised that she was noy what she seemed, but then neither was I, did she know that I had a third nipple, was that what all this was about, she

started picking the lice out of her facial hair and was flicking them at me. Again.

You might not like our kind of foreplay, but it worked for us. As long as we flea-bombed the room in the morning, the lice were hardly a problem. Increasingly, other parasites

outside would try to take our picture as we exited these shady, rent-by-the-hour dirtbag hotels but that all came at the cost of running with Charlie Sheen.