He thrashed against the restraints. "This

He thrashed against the restraints. "This is it: it is happening now!!" he uttered despite the antilogosticals in his courtesy saline drip. "This is the story to end all fiction!!"

The metal plate hung fifty feet above a pit of lava. Doctor Fiction would soon turn the crank to release his restraints and drop him, but what he didn't know was that Mark had

fighting. Mark managed to defeat Harrison Ford and escaped to Earth again. Here he disguised himself and made his way to become President of Bolivia. His first act as president was

to insist all cabinet members join the Order of the Jedi and demonstrate their ability to wield "sables ligeros". El Presidente Marcos Hamill expected his rival Harrishijo Forde

to keep a tighter reign on his illicit import-export activities, and especially on El Chupabaca, Forde's right-hand man, whose private yacht, the Falcao Milenar, was notorious for

ramming their torpedos in your wives, husbands, sons and daughters. It wasn't enough to ask ourselves which one was more foolish. We also had to know which one we were ourselves.

Well, looks like it's time for revenge. As I grab my torpedoes and get ready to launch it at you and your family, why don't you say some prayers cause you know, you NEED THEM. Oh,

you're atheists? Well, all the more reason for me to release my wrath upon your puny souls, mortals! Cringe in fear! Wet your pants! Close cover before striking! Do not refreeze!

Do not pass go! Do not collect... Are you even listening to me? Stop with that Minecraft and pay attention! I bring the wrath of the heavens and... (sigh.) Just please clap.